The Fires

I saw this postcard on postsecret.com and knew I had to write about it, because I related to this particular message 100% , because I do the same thing.

I hold grudges, I admit it and mostly they are against my family.

I think the San Diego fire can best demonstrate what I am trying to get at here.

When the fire broke out and all those people had to be evacuated, I felt sorry for them, but I just went about my own life, never really giving them a thought. I did my daily routine as if nothing had changed, but it had, hundreds of thousands of people were misplaced.

It never occurred to me to help, volunteer, or open my home to those who were less fortunate than myself.

As the week went on and I spoke with different friends, I noticed that almost all of them, in some sort fashion, had opened their heart and did what they could do to better the situation for those people by volunteering their time, or their homes, or whatever it is that people do to help others.

It never ever occurred to me to come out of my own world and reach out to those that needed some sort of help of any kind.

So I reflected on this personal flaw, and I I believe it is a result of the way I was raised, which was that of total self absorption;

As a child I grew up in a family that had significant resources. Looking back, I can never recall one instance where they reached out to help others less fortunate, ever.

As a child I grew up with immediate family members who suffered from a serious and chronic disease. Never during the thirty years of their life experience with this terrible disease, did they they ever reach out to any organizations or people as unfortunate as them so that they could help others to cope. They could of made a difference by sharing with others their own life experiences, knowledge, and understanding of how to live with such a terrible disease.

Let me break it down even deeper....NEVER has anyone from my immediate family ever volunteered to help any any type of emergency or to any organization...ever, and sadly that also includes myself.

As children we mimic our parents "monkey see, monkey do"; and I find I'm following their footsteps exactly without even realizing when I'm doing it. They taught me very well...

So I hold another grudge against them, I begrudge them for not caring about anything other than them selfs, and I begrudge them for passing this trait on to me.

I can only hope that when the next opportunity comes around for me to contribute, I can see past myself, remember this blog and then do the right thing.