I got some shocking news way back in June...actually I think I had a premonition of it coming...I even blogged about it....I heard this voice that said..."big things are getting ready to happen". I even wrote it down after I woke up from that nap that should of served as a warning...but me.. I took this as wonderful things were going to happen, because at that time, so many things seemed to be going so right.
HA! Big is the operative word here.....Big LOSES!
My ex-partner (husband) who I had stayed fiscally intertwined with all these years (35 long years to be exact).....manage to loose everything we own because of his foolish real estate speculations.
Yes....everything. So here I am at 52 years old, with basically not a thing to my name. I'm sure that within 6 months that I will lose my house. He leveraged everything so much, that the current house payments are not worth making and it would be like putting money in a trash can and burning it.
Every day is a day where I try to figure out where I'll be in 8 months...
Its so sad for me because I love my house, I have lived here for 15 years, and its just being ripped away from me.
So...how did this guy get the money out of MY house? Very long story, had to do with my melt down that was 6 years ago, yes and that time was my mistake, my bad decisions.
But I have another way of looking at the whole thing and moving on and feeling good about where I'm going;
If I did not do what I had to do back then....I would of lost it then. At the time of my great sadness (3 miscarriages later and a boyfriend who ditched me), my brother who is a multi millionaire would not load me money while I sold my house. I asked him to bridge loan me 50K while my house sold, and as I was pulling my life back together. He refused because his wife has never liked me. A secured loan and he said no....(remind me to blog about how he had me picked up by the police and put into a 72 hour crazy ward, which forever changed my life and how I think about myself)
So I had no other options at the time...I had to take the path that I did, which was to trust my ex with my assets, I really had no other choice.....
and at the end of the day this gamble did not pay off.....BUT....
I can look at it two ways....
I can say that I've lost everything....or I can think that I had 5 years in which to find another path....and that everything going forward is of my own making....(and I do have a bright future, my pet empire is thriving and makes a very good living)
This would be for the first time in my life.....That it is only me and living with my own mistakes. (fiscal decisions without a f....king man in the mix)
Some days I'm bitter and angry and others I am free and liberated.
Lets see what tomorrow brings.....
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Caring Again
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4 comments:
Ugh, what a mess. I feel so bad for you. I haven't been in that exact situation but I have been in a place where my home and situation was tied up with a man and it didn't turn out well either time. I have come to the conclusion that the only person I can really trust is me. If I blow it apart myself then I will be the only one to blame. But if I do well - there will be no one else to try to take the credit.
The good news for you is that your business is doing so well. If it continues growing in the leaps and bounds it has been - you will be fine in the end.
I feel for you about the house. I have only ever had one house, for about 5 years and did not want to give it up, but I had to. Have not been able to save a down-payment since - even though I can afford mortgage payments now.
I don't know. You really have to wonder if all of these things happen for a reason, to teach us self confidence and self reliance or something.
But whatever. I really really hope things start moving in the upward direction for you and that you are able to make a new start out of it.
Oh, god, Holly. That's horrible. Girl, you've got to sever all ties with that ex and start rebuilding. I know you know that, but still...I guess it's just my way of saying that I support you, and I'm your friend.
God, what a jerk. Men can be so ridiculously disappointing sometimes.
Thanks all.....its just not me...many people are having very similar problems. I'm just so lucky that my business kicked in when it did and I have options....
Still...not knowing what tomorrow will bring is a bit unsettling...
We'll see....won't we?
This is hilarious you have always blamed your brother and his wife for all your bad life choices
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